There’s no better time to improve your relationship with your child.

Featured image by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash

Here’s what you should know.


  • In a country where depression (worsened by a drastic negative shift in lifestyle), difficult economic times, political instability, among other factors cripple the nation, the young population is the most vulnerable.
  • A parent is a key pillar in their child’s life.
  • Being a parent is a huge responsibility and sometimes is usually likened to a second job.

With the emergence of the Covid-19 pandemic, we saw a major shift in lifestyle and standards of living across the entire social spectrum. Parents had more time to spend with their children, to really understand them. Now, as the nation is struggling to stand back up, revert our social norms, we have to deal with the new hectic school schedules. As a result, it is hard to connect with a child who is often buried in school work.

Parents perform a pivotal role in the lives of their children. First and foremost, they directly influence their self worth and believes. You probably know that children are masters at imitation. A child will act, speak and behave just like their parents. A young man will naturally look up to his father, emulating his behaviors. It’s fair to suggest that a parent is supposed to be the first available role model to their child. And thus set the bar for the trajectory on which a child grows.

The parent has to commit their time, resources and energy to the development of this young being. Every action they take is supposed to help them grow. It’s a hard job because there is no defined, tested and proven formula to it, no book written conclusively on how to parent successfully.

We understand that the relationship between a child and their parent is key in developing their character, self esteem, knowledge as well as the relationship with other children and adults. But as children grow into their unique characters, they tend to grow distant from their parents. Young adults more often than not distant themselves, but why?

Here are few reasons we believe are the cause of this phenomenon. Slight disclaimer, this is not a scientifically accurate thesis. But it is an attempt at understanding human nature in this topic.

Fear

As children grow and become self aware and aware of their environment, they understand things differently and start to see them from their own perspective. Sometimes, their views may differ from their parents’. This generation has various views and ideas of life that the older generation didn’t have.

Currently, many young Kenyans are deserting the traditional education concept to pursue their dreams through talent and passion. They believe that what matters most is the ability to lead a successful career and supporting their families. However, the parents intend to hold onto the previous norms and ignore the urge to see what the future holds. The young generation needs motivation, direction and counsel as they pursue their dreams, but out of fear they shy away from including their parents and/or relatives because they aren’t pursuing the cliché Medical or Engineering program.

Hostility from parents

If as a parent, all your children hear from you is complaints and verbal abuse, they will most probably be a product of what you feed their mental faculty. This is the environment they grow up being exposed to. They will have a hard time approaching you on issues that are challenging them. The youth tackle peer pressure, low self esteem and difficult personal relationships but they end up seeking counsel from each other, usually ending up this the same misguided boat.

Peer pressure

All relationships vary, and true is the fact that parents are so busy trying to provide that they spend little to no time with their children. This greatly opens up the opportunity for peer influence. The company they keep plays a central role in the choices they make. More often they will resort to counsel that can lead them astray. This happens because most of the issues they encounter don’t reach the parent. The parents might finally realize the situation when it is too late.

As the children grow older, they learn more. Therefore, it is key that they have pillars to support them, as they chart over the sea of life. The support is crucial for their confidence, self esteem and relation with other people.

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Illustration by Fabian Blank on Unsplash